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excelsior-1

Two Men Walk Into A Bar

one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you £1000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your...
17:14 Fri 01st Feb 20131 answer, last by Starbuckone 21:56 Fri 01st Feb 2013
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Flyhalf

A Few More Scots Jokes

Three times Jessie brought Sandy to the manse, hoping to be made man and wife, but each time the minister refused because of the groom-to-be’s intoxication. ‘Why do you persist in bringing him to...
21:41 Fri 25th Jan 20133 answers, last by BIGJACK 14:51 Sat 26th Jan 2013
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belljohn

Missing Middle Word

eg dry-ice-age 1. Clean ? Temperature 2. Long ? Glass 3. Flying ? Run 4. Bar ? Love 5. Rain ? Partner...
21:35 Fri 25th Jan 201315 answers, last by shaz1963 05:00 Sat 23rd Aug 2014
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Jemisa

A Few More...

I bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept...
13:30 Thu 24th Jan 20137 answers, last by annieigma 20:17 Sat 26th Jan 2013
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Jemisa

Women Should Not...

This is one of those controversial statements but I fully stand behind it. Women should not have children after 35! Some say, "Of course women can have children after 35!" They don't know what they...
00:06 Sat 19th Jan 201312 answers, last by Baldric 18:59 Sat 19th Jan 2013
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excelsior-1

Circus Vampires ...

...go straight for the juggler...
19:34 Thu 17th Jan 20135 answers, last by thetaliesin 22:09 Thu 17th Jan 2013
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Chipchopper

Frozen Bird....

A small bird was flying south for winter. It was sooo cold the bird froze and fell to the ground, into a large field While he was laying there on the frozen ground, a cow came along and dropped a heap...
16:21 Mon 14th Jan 20133 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:51 Mon 14th Jan 2013
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Chipchopper

Juicy Big Veg

Big willy Wilson was the envy of the neighborhood, his vegetable garden was immaculate and he had won many top prizes at the local horticultural show for his king sized veg which knocked other entries...
01:27 Wed 09th Jan 20135 answers, last by Chipchopper 20:07 Wed 09th Jan 2013
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Jemisa

Drunk Driving...

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was driving home, and was pulled over by a traffic copper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could...
23:56 Tue 08th Jan 20135 answers, last by 1ndex 23:56 Wed 13th Feb 2013
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zac21

Brand Names

39 Sun King without kiss turns Tut on label 5 & 7 Thought nI'd got it but not correct number of lletters 55 Bear around two flights (6)...
12:35 Tue 08th Jan 20135 answers, last by zac21 13:00 Tue 08th Jan 2013
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LochNessMonster

Cute Joke ?

Two babies lying in a cot together and the first one say's to the other "Are you a boy or a girl?" "Don't know"replied the second baby The first baby said "Well I can tell" and put a head under the...
09:38 Tue 08th Jan 20135 answers, last by Starbuckone 23:13 Tue 08th Jan 2013
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excelsior-1

Two Tourists In Africa

are on the plains observing a lioness the lioness spots them and starts to approach, picking up speed one of the tourists takes sneakers out of his knapsack and puts them on his companion says "you'll...
22:20 Sat 05th Jan 20138 answers, last by Hopkirk 22:17 Mon 07th Jan 2013
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ttfn

Lord Knows Why Me

I have spent the festive holiday at Big Sis' in the countryside. Part of my daily duties was to feed the wild birds. On Christmas Day morning I checked all the feeding stations were topped up and...
22:55 Thu 03rd Jan 201327 answers, last by gness 00:51 Fri 04th Jan 2013
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sengas

Wooden Floors

please please can any one tell me how to keep these new wooden floors dust free , since my partner laid these new wooden stripes they are wonderful but my god the dust is just to much any ideas i am...
17:15 Thu 03rd Jan 20136 answers, last by spudqueen 01:33 Fri 04th Jan 2013
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Chipchopper

Oops

Jethro and Dave, sat in their local pub and after several beers, Dave said to Jethro "if I was to sneak over to your house while you was playing darts and made love to your wife and she got pregnant...
18:02 Mon 24th Dec 20121 answer, last by Starbuckone 00:02 Tue 25th Dec 2012
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poodledoo

Smile Quiz

50)TV company has quiet eastern internet call (5) 85)Old school teacher gets ace of spades for paying (10) 93) Simple warm stream in the air (7) 91)Look towards volume of social media (8) 86)This car...
18:15 Sun 23rd Dec 20125 answers, last by poodledoo 14:02 Tue 25th Dec 2012
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Jemisa

New Passion...

New Passion......................................... A guy complains to his doctor that his sex life is deteriorating rapidly. The doctor tells him he needs to reintroduce excitement, guilt and so on...
00:46 Wed 19th Dec 20125 answers, last by Starbuckone 13:12 Wed 19th Dec 2012
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Jemisa

Xmas Poem...

He laid her on the table So white clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat He rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and then her breast And then drooling felt her thigh. The slit...
13:59 Tue 11th Dec 20127 answers, last by maggiebee 13:33 Wed 12th Dec 2012
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maggiebee

Tax Return

This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return. The HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly. In response to...
12:17 Mon 03rd Dec 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:40 Mon 03rd Dec 2012
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Paul22118

Time of the Month.........

Murphy goes to the dance and having consumed much black stuff decides to review the talent. As it gets to the last dance he plucks up courage and says to a beautiful girl ' what about me and you...
17:42 Wed 21st Nov 20123 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:13 Wed 21st Nov 2012

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